I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We were destined to go to rehab together
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
