We should be called the Road Head Warriors
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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