She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
