party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
