I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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