Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
