Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
