i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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