Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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