im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
