they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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