DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
