dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
