i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize