shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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