Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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