then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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