Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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