Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
