...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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