it wasn't lemon gatorade
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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