Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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