I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
