omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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