Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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