how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
