i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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