shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
