Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
