Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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