i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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