There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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