That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize