ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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