Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
