Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
