I will die if light touches me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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