Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
