I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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