weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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