My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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