He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
