I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
