told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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