New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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