omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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