I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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