I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize