New invention idea: vibrating tampons
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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