Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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