you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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