I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
vagina is talking i cant
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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