Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
