she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
