My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
