Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
