don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
