I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
