What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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