maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
