So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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