Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
