its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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