Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
