You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
home. puking in laundry basket.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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