Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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