I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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