when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize