You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
