I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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