glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there's paper in my vomit.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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