Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
